dear smith,

you're getting big.  now you're able to not only walk, but run, and now you can get inside your new electric Lightning McQueen car you got for Christmas and understand how to make it roar and how to make it go forward.  even if you don't quite know how to steer.  You just said, "oh my dawshhh" when your shoe slipped off and it made me realize that you really are just like a parrot these days and you are learning from me each day.  I don't think I need to be worried about that, but I guess only time will tell.  I'm just going to assume those are "almost two" tantrums, and not ones you've learned from mom?  please?

all Christmas season you called the old jolly man atop the speaker and next to the tv holding a candle and constantly humming because the music is broken, "hoho", and just now you walked up to me and said, "santa", clear as day.  You don't really know who that is yet, and I still have an internal battle daily as to whether or not I'm going to tell you about him.  I know it sounds silly to most people, but I just can't bear the thought of lying to you, and even with all the excitement he arouses, I just don't know if I can look at you in the eyes and when you ask me why some kids don't get any gifts from Santa, that I'll have to hurry and try to make up some other lie to pacify you until some kid at school tells you I've been lying to you, and you learn the truth from some punk at school before you learned it from me.

I take you to the park as often as I can, and you love it.  Usually you'll climb up the stairs to the slide and sit on the edge of the slide until I count to three and then you quickly stand back up and act like you're not scared at all, but that you want me up there with you.  one time after you pointed to me, I said, "you want MEEEE to come with you?"  in some high pitched squeal.  and so from then on you point to me and and say "MEEEE?" in that same high pitched squeal to let me know I'm wanted/needed on the playground.  and I'm happy to be wanted/needed, and I go on every slide at the whole park with you on my lap.  I think one day very soon you won't need me anymore on those slides, and so I'll go with you as long as you'll let me, and as long as I can.